Bloody Belated Blog

Sorry all for my extended leave of absense. As stated previously, I was not blogging in an attempt to prove a point to myself. But alas, my social experiment failed. In the past, when I have not blogged for a few days, the traffic on my blog has increased, I have gained followers and received more comments than usual. This time it did not. We do have one new follower (Hi) and I did get a few comments but all in all, a complete waste of blog worthy time was wasted.

Oh Well....

Hmm what else have I missed while I was gone?? I LOVE Emma Watson’s haircut, I am pissed that MK said she looks at old photos of the twins and sees little monkey performers , I have no idea who to vote in the election and am honestly thinking of taking up Mum’s suggestion that I write FUCK YOUSE ALL on my ballot paper, I suddenly have a ridiculously busy social life after months of incessant hibernation at home, I have started saying incessant, incessantly, I have learnt that wearing JC clogs while very drunk and where there are steep stairs is not a wise decision, I have learnt I am very lucky not to have broken my neck during said excursion, I have learnt that when you are drunk and need food, anchovies don’t taste so bad after alll, I have learnt not just to drink a drink just because someone hands it to me, I have learnt there are many types of kayaks and things you can do with them, I have lost my shopping mojo, I have seen Terri Hatcher bareface and think she looks great (mainly because she will always be Lois Lane to me), I am sad Artie and Tina have broken up on Twitter, I have no opinion about the fact they are going to turn a quarter of the park across the way from me into a carpark....

.... Many many other things that I am sure would bore you to death. Wasn't that a great story << My catch phrase. More than likely a defensive mechanism so people will not think I am boring/talking crap. Something like, if I acknowledge it, then it is OK.

Anyway, outfit wise. During said drunk escapades involving seeing my friend in her comedy show, talking incredibly loudly about certain activities best kept spoken about not in public, being ditched by my friend to go and pick up, throwing up in a cafe toilet (I am such a lady), getting home WAY past my nanna curfew of 10pm and being VERY very hungover the next day.... I wore this.

What on earth is this pose??

My pretties. That I agree are very ugly but I love all the same. Fastidious fug they are (but that is another post in itself ). And everyone in Cottesloe knows it after I yelled at my sister and dad that they were fabulous and in "a months time everyone will be wearing them". The small child standing near, thought I was very strange and probably cacked his pants when I fell over in them walking to my car.

Clogs -Jeffrey Campbell

Top - Target

Jacket - Portmans (for $17!!)

Pants - Sportsgirl (love love love)

I don’t usually shop in shops. I will browse Forever New, Portmans and Dotti at my local “Quarter” (cough, pretentious name for average suburban shopping centre, cough) but I will rarely buy. Going to the shops just seems like so much effort and inconvenience. This insurrection only began about a year ago when I got my first credit card (apart from the times I could convince by big sister to use to hers to pur-chase me say $150 t-shirt??). Now I am an online shopping fiend. I absolutely refuse to pay full price for anything. I am ridiculously put out when I cannot find a coupon/promotional code for a website that I want to shop on and eBay is the worst and best thing to ever happen to me. Ozsale, Brands Exclusive, Buy Invite, Thread People, Coco Lee are all $35 for real deal Uggs and $11 for speedos!! Who could say no.

Geez, I sound so frelling arrogant sorry (for those of you non-scifi-watching-geeks, frelling is alien for “fucking” in my favourite show ever Farscape. Although they all are injected with translator microbes anyway so I am not sure why technically Frell is not just Fuck, just Henson getting away with vulgarity in an 8pm timeslot. And un-geek).

Anywho, the point is, that I went shopping ... at the shops... last weekend. I was very uninspired and I have discovered I am going through a style revolution. I is confused. I don't know what I like anymore. The above outfit it a perfect example off this. A Target thermal? To a fancy bar? And pants? When I did start loving pants? Why do a have a sudden urge to buy every pair of pants I see now? I even bought myself some baggy black cargo pants and I have been living in them since...... ????? 

But you know feels amazing though. Being able to walk into any store and know that I can pick something up and it will fit. Hell-low. I need to get back on track WW though before I blow out to balloon size again and this elation is lost. Another story for another time though.

So after reading all the above crap, here is what you really care about (I'm tlaking to you RiotersBloc - sorry to take so long). On the date front, all is going well. We are continuing to see each other. As a result of D’s superior Googling skills, he has discovered this blog (cue akward conversation), so I will keep it short and sweet and say things are good. Have you ever tried googling your email address? That is how I can be found. Luckily, non of the people who I would not want to read this blog have any internet skills at all so I am safe (ie. One asked “What is this paypal thing?, to which I almost chocked on my Indian).

That is all....For now.

I promise to return.

Brilliant Bettina

Ok quick post to tell you about the brilliant Curvy Bettina Liano jeans I got yesterday (maybe because I needed jeans and maybe to wear for coffee with certain person of whom I will be seeing again shortly).

Anyway these jeans are magic. They fit so well (although this is not the most flattering photo -  I badly tucked my shirt into my jeans this evening after remembering I wanted to take pictures while getting half undressed so I think that explains the bumps). I have never felt so good (or just say it Fi, "sexy") in a pair of jeans in my life. I have a small bum (thanks dad) and always have major sag factor in pants. These even make mine look good. The photo of my bum is only to demonstrate the brilliance of these jeans. I would not normally post pictures of my posterior. Oh and they don't fall down. Bend and they stay where they are supposed too. No "belt looping" required.

It is just so good to finally start to feel great in clothes. The shirt tucked into jeans look is something I have been wanting to try for ages. I am so sold. And the shirt was basically free (another new purchase) as I purchased it with vouchers (that I got for using my credit card - is that still free??). 

Also the service at the Bettina Liano store was exceptional. I was served by Sally at the Claremont store and she was so friendly and helpful. She took one look at me and was able to give me the right size and know that the skinny leg would look the best (apparently too much fabric around the knee and shin is not so flattering on us shorties). Sally knew so much about the product and really seemed like she loved it. I will definitely be going back and get the black on the future (after I have saved up a bit - they are a bit pricey). Oh and I totally stole the "belt looping" thing from her.

There should be a law that every girl should own a pair of these jeans. Word on the street (or from the BT sales assistant) is that they flatter any body shape and even the thin girls are after them.

So basically a HUGE recommendation from me.

Perhaps I need to cuff them if I wear kitten heels or flats in future.

Shiny Bum!! We had lighting/flash problems.

I love the detail of this top. Floral that anyone could pull off. I find it hard to do sometimes, despite my fervent admiration all these floral.

Jeans - Bettina Liano

Shirt - Country Road

Shoes - Mileno 

Aftermath Analysis

So rioters bloc has requested a run down on Speed Dating. Check out her blog, I enjoy it muchly.

Maybe this run down will cause me to expose my blog to people in my life as it will save me from having to tell the same story over and over again. I am sick of telling it already. Mainly because I am shy and get embarrassed. Writing it down while sitting in my room my self is much easier.

So to set the scene, I went with my friends from school C and J. J god bless her drove. Luckily for me as I was adamant that liquid courage was required.

Don't ask what I was drinking. I was all they had and pretty rancid.

Oh and why I was there, I randomly decided to do a what is in my bag photo. Probably because for once there was no rubbish in my bag. I will show you what I mean one day. I don't really care about what people have in their bags but if you do this is for you. Enjoy.

Anyway, we drove around the city looking for a park for ages. We finally found one that would accommodate our after 10pm requirements and rushed to the venue, arriving five minutes after the 7.30pm start time. We were unsure whether 7.30pm meant, sit down and date at 7.30pm or stand around awkwardly for awhile then date. Turns out it was the latter. 

So after standing around for a while just talking to my friends, another champers down the trap (seriously I rarely drink), we finally found the hosts, got our name badges and our score sheets. Not so surprisingly for Perth, there were two other girls there who we knew. N and H went to high school with us. Apart from stalking them on facebook, I don't think I have seen either of them since 2002. We sat down at a table for a while and had a rather awkward chat with a couple of guys and then we were split into boys and girls for our host speeches.

The way it worked was that the girls sat a table and the boys rotated to us. We all had numbers and our names on our badges. We had five minutes with each of the 18 guys. There was a warning bell at four minutes and then a final bell when it was time for the next date. The scorecard could be ripped in half. On one side we wrote our own notes (for the next day to jog our memories when we got out "matches") and on the other side we wrote next to the guy's name and number "date", "friend" or "no".

You need a bloody degree to figure this out, especially after a few drinks, but this is what it means. If either girl or guy picked "no", there was no match. If both picked "date", you get matched as a 'date" and if one picks "friend", or you both do, it's a "friend" match. So if if I wrote "date' and he wrote "friend", then it would only be a "friend" match. We got emailed our results and the contact details of our "friend" or "date" matches the next day. Sorry I am mixing my tenses here. I am even confusing myself.

Oddly enough, N and I shared a tiny little table for our dates. I would date the guys first and then they would shuffle the 20cms to the next seat and date her. It was a little unnerving for me having them stay so close. J and C decided it was hilarious and that N was getting my sloppy seconds. By the end of it I was introducing my dates to N.

So, eighteen dates is a lot. By the end, C gave up and told one of her dates she just wanted to go home. It was also very cramped and loud and there were only two breaks for toilet, food and drink refills. We did get a complimentary drink though. Five minutes goes very quickly. Especially if you are me and spend one of those five minute dates having a coughing fit and another laughing hyserically for no apparent reason. It would have been better if there were nine dates lasting ten minutes. It is also very tiring talking to strangers for nearly four hours. Yes, we finished at eleven fifteen. On a school night!!

The guys were all really nice and decent looking. I was also surprised at how attractive and nice most of the girls were too. Hmm, did I just diss myself? Back to the important stuff. There was a few standouts looks wise. My first date was gorgeous. Pity I stood him up for three of the five minutes while I waited for the very slow bartender (who was the best looking of the night). I only had one awkward conversation (which also involved the coughing fit) but that was one of last and I was so very tired. I think I just lost concentration for a while. Me being me even said at the end "So, nice to meet you. Sorry for the awkward conversation". That was actually the hardest part. The saying goodbye. It was like:

"Ok, nice to meet. Have a nice life".

"Oh and meet N, she is your next date".

And then my next date would come in and it would start all over again. Not before we frantically picked our preferences for the last date and scribbled down some note about them. Ie. J - painter, hot, inventions. M - loves to sweat. B - bunge knee, bogan. And back to the next date.

"Hi I am Fi".

"Yes, my name tag has been ripped in half to remove the "ona". That was a former date".

"So, how are you".

"Good. Have you done this before".

"Are you having fun?"

"So, what do you do".

And then I would put off telling them what I do for as long as possible. Oddly most of them were tradies. Three were in IT and three were photographers. I am always awkward telling guys  I am lawyer because they tend to get intimidated or put off.  "Oh... A lawyer" they say. And because I work in "divorce law", it is not really the best conversation piece for a date, especially when you only have five minutes. I think I said my job was " yes very interesting and eye opening", "no it's not as hard as you think" and "just a job" about a million times. Not that I fancy dating only "professionals" but I probably should have gone to the "professionals" event next week as at least I would not of have  such awkward conversations about my work.

Geez sorry I sound like a pompous snob. I am not like that at all. I promise. Ok, maybe a little bit.

My whole life I had encountered problems because I am too nice. This was no exception. Apart from one guy, I either listed "date" or "friend" for everyone. I ticked "friend" in a "you were nice to talk too but I would not want to date you kinda way". How we were going to be "friends", I did not even think about. I even ticked "friend" for Frenchy, the guy we swear was only there to find a wife so he could stay in the country and who was also a little creepy.

So after checking my email a million times yesterday, we finally got our matches. I must be a pretty friendly kind of girl because I got twelve matches. Eleven "friends' and one "date". J got one date and some friends and C got six friends. So I like totally won. J's date was T - hot, painter, inventions, so maybe she won in some people's eyes. Not that it is a competition.

And you know what? Miracle upon miracle, my "date" guy, D, was the guy I liked the most. The first thing I said to him was "Lucky Last" and the conversation just flowed so easily from there.  N did point out though that D was her sloppy seconds as he was her first. We probably talked for about twenty minutes too as when the final bell rang we all sat around talking. This then had to be explained to N's date Frenchy, so our date sort of turned into a double. Then we compared notes and my friends started making fun of this one guy. I laughed and stated he was the guy with the weird hobby. D leaned across the table and whispered that we were talking about his friend. Oops. It obviously was not too bad though as he picked me.

So we got our matches with their emails and mobile numbers. Within three hours I had an email from one guy (which turned out to be generic as J got the same one) asking me if I would like to go dancing, to an art gallery or for coffee with him, as friends... Then I got a text

"Bonsoir "Fi", lookin forward 2 see if ur as geeky as u claim to be ;-)".

No name. You have probably already guessed who it was but I was little slow on the uptake. If it was D, I didn't want to dismiss him or be rude. I had also completely forgotten what I said to each guy and who I must of told I was a geek. So I replied.

""And how am I supposed to prove that to a mystery man?"

And then I realised if I clicked 'Show All" on my email, I could see the guys phone numbers and confirmed that it was my future foreign husband to be. Why oh why did I tick friend??? Too nice for my own good. I can't just flat out say "Not interested" and I have decided to fob him off until his visa expires next month. Nice ha. Such terrible terrible timing that I have come down with a deathly disease.

Anyway, I decided I would email D if he didn't email me by today. But he did. And he was very sweet and said he would call me tonight. Which he did. We are meeting for coffee (be still my beating heart, anyone can win me over with caffeine) and cake.

Problem being is that I have the bloody flu. And I sound like a frog. It is very attractive. He even accused me (I think jokingly but flu brain does not take stirring very well and took it literally) of putting it on to avoid him. So I told him, that no I was only doing that to Frenchy. Go figure? Fi flu brain is mental!! Anyway, I left it that I would let him know when I was feeling better and we would go out.

So that is that.

It really was a fun night and a great thing to do. So many laughs all around. I am glad I sucked it up and had the guts to go. I would totally recommend it to anyone who has the slightest inkling to try it out. We only live once right.

Oh and this is what I wore:

Now I need to figure out what appropriate coffee and cake attire is. I really need jeans. I want some Curvy Bettina Liano ones but don't want to spend $250 if they are going to be too big in a few weeks. Woe is me. Luckily big sis is in town so will get her to assist me. She does casual well. My casual repotoire comprises of frump and sloppy. 

And time to pass out.

Dash Dating - What Will We Wear??

Speed dating is tonight and I don't know what to wear. I have an endless wardrobe and nothing....

Arggh...

I think my problem is I have too many looks. Corporate, pretty, preppy, grunge, hippy, sloppy, funky on and on.

All I have decided on is my shoes. The shoes are easy.

Shoes - Nude Footwear

 That reminds me of “In Her Shoes” by Jennifer Weiner. The bit where Rose says something along the line of “The shoes are always right”. I wish I had it on me so I could tell you the real quote. She is basically getting ready for a date and doesn’t know what to wear and is having a bitch of a time but at least she knows that her shoes will work. I like Rose’s idea that shoes always look good regardless of what size you are. And you can always (although I would probably say usually) get shoes that fit. Even if your annoying little sister steals them and spills chocolate ice-cream on them. Good book. Read it.

I just finished reading this book for the millionth time. It is a good easy read. I do forget how depressing the beginning can be though. This is one of those books that I love so much that I don’t want to finish. When I read a book for the first time, I want to get to the end as quick as possible so I can find out what happens. When I re-read a book, it is all about spending time with the characters. And when I am at the end, I feel like I have lost them. All I want to do is go back to the beginning again and meet them all over again. Or, watch the movie.

I have in the past, read Pride and Prejudice, watched the BB version, watched the Keira version and then re-read the book, all in a row. Now P&P is my favourite but this is the only thing I do this with. I once watched all 88 episodes of Farscape and the mini-series in about a week and then went straight away and watched the whole thing from the beginning again…. Yes, I am a GEEK. And proud of it.

Now, back to thinking about what to wear.

Dash Dating

I reluctantly agreed to go speed dating the Tuesday after next. Although the more I think about it, the more exciting it seems. I will try not to raise my hopes though. I am only going for a laugh and for the experience. I promise to report back after the fact.

Apart from the whole having a public blog on which I post personal information and pictures of myself, I am generally shy and self conscious around strangers. Dating and meeting people is not really my forte. I am perpetually single. And I don't think being perpetually single helps in the dating game as most of the time, being single makes you want to stay single. Although yesterday I did have one of those rare moments when I just felt hopelessly alone. These moments sort of sneak up on me once in a while and hit hard. Odd too as I had a nice day yesterday.

Luckily, I was on Nixon duty again so had a little furry friend to cheer me up. I also made Sloppy Joes alla The Pioneer Woman and watched the finale of Glee so the loneliness subsided rather quickly. Here is a crappy phone photo of my Sloppy Joe:

It was bloddy deliciously amazing!!!. If I made this for a man, he would fall madly in love with me. This was the first time I have ever had a S-Joe. For the last ten years, everytime I watch this scene from MKA's It Takes Two, I suddenly NEED a Sloppy Joe. So about hundred times I have had this craving ... maybe this is why I have trouble finding a man - haha.

Anyway, the nerd that I am decided to do some research on tips and conversation starters to prepare myself for the night. This is the first questionnaire I found. Sort of like a meme to myself I guess. This is how I would answer these if questioned:

If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be and why?

My little flat as I love it and fear we are going to be kicked out shortly. Note:  L we need to email the real estate agent.

What place do you want to visit most?

Greece and New York are tied at present. I did actually read this question as "where do you visit most" and the answer to that is "work". That would have made be sound interesting and exciting wouldn't of it.

If you couldn't do what you are doing for a living, what else would you do?

I would be an actress. And I would darn well be good enough to be cast in a movie alongside Meryl Streep. Obsessed much? I even have the script in my head. Oh so I guess I would be a screenwriter too (more on this ambition soon - I just have to get around to editing my two page long post)

What's your favorite word?

WHORESLUT. Although my favourite non curse word changes on a weekly basis. You may have noticed. Currently I am enjoying using Conundrum and Insolent.

If you could interview anyone living or dead, who would it be?

Jane Austen tied with Anna Wintour and the Olsen twins. Although a man would probably not understand this answer.

If you could be someone else for a day who would you be?

Serena Williams playing a grandslam final. Wouldn't it feel good to be that good a player and win the game!

If you had to choose a meal that best represented your love life, what would be on the menu, and where would you eat it?

Water. Although probably not the best answer to give a potential suitor. Don't they say you should not talk about previous lovers on dates anyway?

What would be the title of your biography?

"Everything you didn't want to know about me and then some"

If you knew you'd be financially taken care of for the next year, what would you do with your time or where would you go?

I would go everywhere and do nothing.

They say Alexander the Great kept a dagger and a copy of the Iliad under his pillow. What would be under your pillow?

Um are you trying to impress me with pointless information and the fact that a. you know what the Iliad is and b. know how to pronounce it? NEXT you pretentious prat.

What's in the boot of your car at the moment? (As long as the answer isn't:"My ex!")

Honestly, what kind of a question is that? But if I had enough to drink I would say "Some rotting meat that I swear I can smell but cannot find". Not sure that is the kind of impression I want to portray though.

Now that I am all studied up, the only thing to do is stress and figure how what I should wear. I have one vote for this Zebra print Barkins Dress. Any other ideas?