Swimming Support

I have decided to do the Rottnest Swim next year.

For those of you who don’t know what this is, it is a 19.7 kilometre ocean swim from the Mainland (Perth) to Rottnest Island. It is one of the biggest ocean swim competitions in the world. See here:

Now, I am not crazy and I am not doing the whole thing myself, I am swimming in a team of four. The standard thing to do is for each team member to swim for about ten minutes at a time and we have eight hours to swim the whole thing.

I am not as fit I have been in the pool and I have been slack on the exercise front of late but people (mainly my parents) are being relay discouraging about my decision.

Not that my parents have ever really been the type to shower me with compliments and tell me how wonderful I am (parents who don’t even tell me I was "good" when I used to get up and sing, act and dance in front of an audience – not that I am sour or anything) but I spoke to them on Sunday about it and they did not say one positive thing about this decision.

They were all like, “you know it costs $250 to enter” and “you can’t wear your snorkel” and “you should be able to swim 40 laps nonstop” and “you should be able to swim five kilometres”. No Mum and Dad, I just decided to enter without doing any research!!

It is just very frustrating. I am doing something good for myself and nada!!

So very maturely, to spite all my non-believers, I am going to do this and I am going to do this on my own. I could ask my dad to help me train but I am not going too. I am just going to go along my merry way and do it all myself (with the help of my team of course). And I am not going to mention the swim to my parents again. And if they bring it up, I will fob them off. Wow, I am such a great person huh.

But you what, I am not doing this to win it. I am doing this to do something with my life. To have something to work for and look forward too. Even if my team does not finish or I struggle on the day, at least I would have tried. So screw you non-believers, I am going to do this and this will be me!!!

  

Fifties Fail

In today’s outfit, I have been strutting around fancying I look like Joan Holloway here:

It is probably because I bought a cute vintage blouse from The Vintage Valley (check out her blog too, she is gorg) which I am styling today (plus coffee stains from before I even stepped in the door at work). 

Shirt - Vintage

Skirt – Cue

Cardigan – Country Road

Shoes - RMK

Nose – Napoleon Perdis (I have a pimple the size of Mount Everest and as red as the parted sea so much cover up is required. I could seriously lead Santa on his Merry way with this thing!!)

In reality I think I might have missed the par a bit and exposed some serious "Arms Out" action (ie. arms like that should be covered to protect the human eye)!!

Whatever... It is the WEEKEND!!!!!! Yay.

Stupid Spacers

The devil's work.



This is an re-enactment of my mouth not the real deal.



That is all.

Love - The Pained One

PS. I am not over dramatic at all. Not one bit :-) Lets just wait until next week shall we

Whoopie! Winners!!

Ok so the dress giveaway has ended and I just did the draw then...

Here is proof that the winners won fair and square.

WARNING. Primitive winner choosing practice ahead. No random number generator for me. Just a pen, some post its and and a camera.

For Green Dress:

Entries were every so carefully written on post-its in red pen and thrown onto the floor of my office. All post its were the same size. I promise. They were six long post-its ripped into two.

Then I closed my eyes to pick the winner. See.

Um, not sure what happened there and can't be arsed changing it!! Haha.

Then I waved by arm haplessly around in the air, just to make sure I was being fair, I grasped about and then there...

... was the winner

And the winner is .....

See my booboo? I sliced the top off my finger when making lunch. Fi should handle sharp objects when sick, sore and tired.

Oh and ONIKA won. YAY for Onika :-) 

And for the Face Dress, I went through the same rigmarole but I will spare you the pics. And the winner is...

Yay, CARLY. More good news for you today!!

Winners please email your details to me at me_fi85@hotmail.com and I will post your pretties away to you. Fingers crossed they fit and you love them!!

Thanks everyone for entering. I will have another giveaway soon. I promise.

Now I am going to pass out in me bed :-)

Giveaway – Get Going



OMG I just figured out how to add captions!!

Entries for my Giveaway end on Sunday at 10am (Western Standard Time - for once - that is three hours behind Sydney and Melbs, 1.5 behind Darwin and I think Adelaide, other peps can figure it out themselves).

So far the Face Dress is all yours Carly :-)

If you haven't entered - SEE HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Riveting Really

This is a crappy phone photo of what I am wearing today. I nearly just wrote iPhone photo before realising how fucking wanky that sounds.

Target Top

Witchery Skirt

Kloset Belt

RMK shoes

I am all a bit too matchy matchy today for my liking.

That is all. For now.

Phone call Panic

I don't like talking on the phone and I stress about having to answer or make phone calls. I am a grown  up, I know and this fear is stupid but it is what it is.

There is one particular phone call I really don't want to make.

I have been putting it off for some months now.

I need to do it sooner or later though, The sooner the better.

The phone call will make me look like this:

Again...

Argh.

Bleh.

Vom.

I already cop it from all fields for being "young". These are not going to make anything better. Perhaps I should become a mute. Then I would not have to talk on the phone.

I know I am a vain bitch and there are worse things in the world apart from getting braces. But I have had them before. I have done my innings. Then after these come the fourteen (or more) crowns. And the $20,000 debt, to add to my other debts. And I don't even have a house, or a purpose in life. Woohoo me.

"Call Ortho" has just been entered into my diary for 10am tomorrow. I wonder if the call will get made.

- Holla atcha

"the letter F"

PS. Message from Mother re: braces. 

"I was talking to such and such and apparently it is hard to eat for the first few days after getting braces".

Thanks mum, do your remember that I have had them before? Or that I had to put up with years of you and Dad complaining about the cost of them.  My parents liked to do this - I will never live down the fact I went to private school, despite it being my parents choice all along .

Me - I hate school
Parents - You better like it! do you know how much we pay for your education!!


Me - Can I have some money to buy X"
My parents - No, isn't it enough we pay for you to go to a good school
Me - You chose to send me to this school
Parent - Well, do you want to go to Shitty Beach (local public high school)
Me - No.
Parents - Fine then. 
Me - [pout and sulk off into my room]

In Year 8, I had a discussion with the principal of my school (who was drunk at the time, after the school fete) who told me that our school fees were more than a third cheaper than other schools in the State because it was heavily funded my the Catholic Education Department. So for the next five years, I humoured my parents that they were making some HUGE sacrifice for my education. Ok that sounds snooty. They were making a sacrifice but not as big a one as they were making out.

... Anyway back on track, I will be sure to remember this sound advice from my mother when I get foreign metal objects glued to my teeth and then attached by wire that is tightened with pliers!! I didn't think it was going to hurt at all!!

PS. I made the call today. Braces will be applied at 9.30am on 11 November 2010. Then don't expect to see my half head smile until at least a year from then.

Free Friday - GIVEAWAY

Ok so you may remember a while ago that I bought these two gorgeous Amelio dresses. If not, see here. Well they don't fit me :-( They have been sitting in my wardrobe looking pretty for months and  months. I tried to sell them on eBay (for less than a third of what I got them for) and nobody even bid. I could keep them until I lose enough weight for them to fit but for some reason once making the decision to get rid of them, I can't seem to hang them up in their old place again.

So I thought I would offer them to any blog readers who might like them. I give all credit for this idea to Brazilian Babe over at A baby, shoes, bags and a bike who I received a gorgeous vest from in her giveaway (which I am actually wearing today and will post pics of once I charge the battery for my camera). I hope you don't mind  BB :-)

The dresses are marked a L and Ozsale said they were a (12) but I doubt this very much. So I would say they would fit a 10 (very small 12) or even a bigger eight. They are 100% silk and feel very nice to the touch. They are brand new with tags and have only been tried on twice by me (and I am clean and do not smell). Not much else I can say so ask away if you have any questions.

So if you are interested, just comment on this post and let me know which one (or both) you like and I will draw the winners at the end of next week. To be fair I will draw the names out of a hat (if there is any/more than one person interested). Postage is on me :-)

DRESS 1

DRESS 2

I have a lot of other stuff in my closet too which quite frankly I would prefer to go to the loving home of my blog readers then sell to the sharks on eBay so if these don't fit or interest you, stay tuned because I have a LOT of clothes in a LOT of different sizes.

Good luck.

Wear What I Wear!!!!

This is what I am wearing today:

Shocking photo. I kinda look like I am levitating. I was trying to avoid co-worker seeing the flash (as my camera will only focus if the flash is on). Luckily co-worker is too ignorant, bitchy and one dimensional to notice anything other than herself (sorry that was unnecessary, I am just going through a very tough lesson in office politics at the moment and am rather upset).

This is my MKA duck pout. I seriously smiled like this in every photo from about aged 17 to 21. See:

Anyway, this is what I wore.

Top - Portmans
Skirt - Barkins
Shoes - Nude Footwear

Now go out and source exactly what I am wearing and wear it exactly the way I have!!!! You have been told :-)

Love to you all,

PS. I am only joking. I just heard somewhere that the purpose of fashion blogging is to tell people how to dress. This is hilar.

End Rant

Random Ramblings

My bestie Elle (aka Looloo) over at the currently dormant maybe in another life , who was super excitingly re-posted at Tune into Radio Carly, sent me this link today.

I can relate to everyone of these thoughts. I even have number two as my FB status at the moment. If you knew me in person, you would be "liking" my status a lot.

Random Thoughts of People Our Age:

1. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

2. More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can't wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that's not only better, but also more directly involves me.

3. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

4. I don't understand the purpose of the line, "I don't need to drink to have fun." Great, no one does. But why start a fire with flint and sticks when they've invented the lighter?

5. Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you're going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you're crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.

6. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

7. The letters T and G are very close to each other on a keyboard. This recently became all too apparent to me and consequently I will never be ending a work email with the phrase "Regards" again.

8. Do you remember when you were a kid playing Nintendo and it wouldn't work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we all know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards or FAQ's. We just figured it out. Today's kids are soft.

9. There is a great need for sarcasm font.

10. Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the fck was going on when I first saw it.

11. I think everyone has a movie that they love so much, it actually becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I'll end up wasting 90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone's laughing at the right parts, then making sure I laugh just a little bit harder (and a millisecond earlier) to prove that I'm still the only one who really, really gets it.

12. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

13. I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

14. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

15. The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish a text.

16. A recent study has shown that playing beer pong contributes to the spread of mono and the flu. Yeah, if you suck at it.

17. Was learning cursive really necessary?

18. Lol has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud" to "I have nothing else to say".

19. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

20. Answering the same letter three times or more in a row on a Scantron test is absolutely petrifying.

21. Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart", all I hear is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart".

22. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?

23. Every time I have to spell a word over the phone using 'as in' examples, I will undoubtedly draw a blank and sound like a complete idiot. Today I had to spell my boss's last name to an attorney and said "Yes that's G as in...(10 second lapse)...ummm...Goonies"

24. What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each other?

25. While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it...thanks Mario Kart.

26. MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

27. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

28. I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water.

29. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

30. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

31. Bad decisions make good stories

32. Whenever I'm Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don't mind if I do!

33. Is it just me or do high school girls get sluttier & sluttier every year?

34. If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their offspring would probably just be completely invisible.

35. Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I'm from, this shouldn't be a problem....

36. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything productive for the rest of the day.

37. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don't want to have to restart my collection.

38. There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to fall after leaning your chair back a little too far.

39. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.

40. I hate being the one with the remote in a room full of people watching TV. There's so much pressure. 'I love this show, but will they judge me if I keep it on? I bet everyone is wishing we weren't watching this. It's only a matter of time before they all get up and leave the room. Will we still be friends after this?'

41. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Damnit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?

42. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

43. When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.

44. I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it's on shuffle, then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.

45. Why is a school zone 20 mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles...

46. As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.

47. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

48. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

49. I think that if, years down the road when I'm trying to have a kid, I find out that I'm sterile, most of my disappointment will stem from the fact that I was not aware of my condition in college.

50. Even if I knew your social security number, I wouldn't know what do to with it.

51. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet my ass everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every time...

52. It really pisses me off when I want to read a story on CNN.com and the link takes me to a video instead of text.

53. I wonder if cops ever get pissed off at the fact that everyone they drive behind obeys the speed limit.

54. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lites than with Kay.
 55. The other night I ordered takeout, and when I looked in the bag, saw they had included four sets of plastic silverware. In other words, someone at the restaurant packed my order, took a second to think about it, and then estimate d that there must be at least four people eating to require such a large amount of food. Too bad I was eating by myself. There's nothing like being made to feel like a fat bastard before dinner.