I am a stresspot. Always have been, always will be. I usually stress for a reason though. Work, my weight, my relationships, my lack of relationships, always running late, not having nice hair/make-up on each day. If there is a deadline coming up, I will get very anxious. When it is passed (and I have met it), I will feel better.
However, occasionally I get anxious for no apparent reason at all. And this in turn stresses me out. I know it is completely irrational but I can’t help it. This is how I have been feeling this weekend.
In this mood, I do not think clearly. This morning I woke from a dream that two horrid people had made nasty comments on my blog about my waist size and my dinner from Friday night. My resolution in this mindset was to give it all in, delete my blog and hide from the world. Now, I know I will get nasty comments eventually. Thankfully all my comments so far have been lovely and I thank you all for spending the time to read my little blog and getting to know me a litte. When this god forbid happens, it will hurt, but ultimately I really won't care too much in the scheme of things. People can be arse faces and although it is taking me some time to deal with this, it is reality and I must try and get on with my life regardless.
Another example is that yesterday when I uploaded my outfit posts, I thought I looked like a giant ugly heffalump and was refusing to post them (even though sans having seen photos, I like this outfit and feel good in it). I thought.. “ You can't let the world see you like this Fi. You look fat, and frumpy and not blog-fashion-post-ready at all”.
But then I gave myself a stern talking too about how I didn't want my blog to be anything but me having a bit of fun and for it to be a hobby (I believe having hobbies are VERY important). And (I know you shouldn't start sentences with "and" but I thought those reading aloud might want a breather) if I feel like cataloguing my wardrobe and the different outfits I style and letting others know about great brands and bargains I found, then I will.
So irrational anxiety caused blog deleting and post hiding averted.
And anyway, heffalumps are cute. See.
Although, as they don't really exist, I am not sure how I managed to find a photo of one. Yes I am talking to you, Estate of A.A Milne (coz I know you are reading).
Anyway, if you care, this is what I wore. If you don't, go away or close your eyes while you scroll down the page. What ver.
I was trying to capsule the ruffle. Instead I captured my absurdity
Here is the ruffle
Deats:
Country Road Ruffle Dress. Ebay. Bargain.
Target leggings. $20. Decent enough. Soft, wash well but a little thin (ie. can see my thigh if I were to wear them as pants)
Dotti Bodysuit. Don't really see the point of bodysuits. They are not that comfortable and make going to the toilet difficult. Alas I persevered as all my other tops were dirty.
Belt. No bloody idea.
RMK shoes. Ebay. Bargain. Ebay readers Ebay. If you don't know how, stayed tuned over the next few days as I will be giving a tutorial - including a section on "getting over those virgin fears and trepidations" - on how to successfully buy shit on the bay that is E. I may be preaching to to choir, but believe me, most everyday none internet forum/blog frequenters, just don't get ebay. So I don't know why I am going to post a blog entry on it (as they won't read it) but anywho, I will. In case you are interested.
What, do I have to do today? Tackle this....
Why-o-why Fi?
Also have to go to work, feed Nixon (the feline ruler of my parents life), clean the flat and go for a swim. And it's nearly 12pm. Argh. Will need to have a serious talking to myself ... Maybe my anxiety is not irrational after all.
"Fi, get out of this funk and get moving woman!!" Feeling better already.
Pictures courtesy of me and Disney
